In This Life
by crypticnotions
Summary: Cyrus and James have another conversation about adopting a child together.


Disclaimer: Not mine.

AN: Originally this was supposed to be posted by Father's Day, but that didn't work out. I love Cyrus and I love his marriage to James. Hopefully, that will be explored more in season 2.

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"We should talk about this," James said, never looking up from the laptop he was typing on.

Cyrus loosened each finger of his soiled garden gloves before removing them and tossing them onto the kitchen table. He ignored James' squint at the action, relishing the fact that getting dirt on the table was one of James' pet peeves. "What is there to talk about?"

James sighed and lowered the screen on his laptop, taking away the eerie glow that made him look like an alien. "I don't know why you can't do this for me."

"A child is not a chia pet. And don't act like I haven't constantly made compromises for you, for us. I didn't want to get married in a church, but I did that, I conceded that for you. I didn't want to go to Jamaica for our honeymoon, but I'm pretty sure I have the sunburnt photos to prove I did just that."

"Oh, yes, I forgot that you are the only one that's made concessions in this marriage," James growled, "You promised me that the work would cut down once Fitzgerald was elected and yet I can barely go a weekend without Olivia or Charlie or some other work buddy dropping by. Who will it be this weekend? Or will there be some crisis that comes up that takes you away for weeks at a time?"

Cyrus rested his hands on the wicker chair in front of him. "Well, then, that sounds like the perfect environment to bring a child into." He couldn't keep the sarcasm from his voice.

James stared at him so long that Cyrus started feeling uneasy. "I'm lonely, Cy. I just want someone here all the time. Someone who doesn't have work or dinners or press to attend to."

Cyrus sighed and pushed a sweaty hand through his hair. "I'm…I'm sorry. I know things aren't perfect. I just can't raise a child."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not father material. I don't have a nurturing bone in my body. I'm good at the dirty work, the behind-the-scenes brawling stuff. I can't change diapers, James. I can't."

"Oh, Cy, you would make a great father. I don't know how many of your former students have talked about how great a mentor you were to them. And look at Olivia. She turned out great."

"I've made some mistakes with Olivia," Cyrus said. After the mess with Amanda Tanner, he owed her big time.

"And yet you realize that. Anyway, we both know I'm the going to need you to be the disciplinarian."

Cyrus walked over to the sink to wash his hands before turning to the stove to get water from the still hot teakettle. He fixed his tea and leaned against the kitchen counter. "A baby won't fix us, James."

"I don't think it will."

"Then what's this really about?"

"I've always wanted to be a father. My parents have always wanted grandkids. I want to go to the beach and build sand castles. I want to wipe sticky faces full of candy. I don't want to pass by parks and wish I was the dad helping his kid ride down the slide."

"We could get a dog," Cyrus said.

James glared at him. "Really, Cy?"

Cyrus sighed and put his teacup down on the counter behind him before turning to look at James. "Why did you marry me? What was it about me that made you want to spend the rest of your life with me?"

A confused look marred James' face. "I love you. While you annoy me plenty, you always fight for what you think is important. You make sacrifices for the overall good. You look at me like I'm the most special person on the planet. There are hundreds of reasons why I love you. It's why I want us to raise a child together."

Cyrus pushed away from the counter and put his hand on James' shoulder. "I don't see what you see in me."

James stood up and put his arms around Cyrus' neck. "Well, I could use a little less of your Fitzgerald Grant proselytizing, but I find you adorable." He leaned in and pecked Cyrus on the lips. For a moment their kiss deepened, their tongues slow and gentle against each other, but persistent and hot. Eventually, James pulled away.

"I still don't see why we can't start with a dog," Cyrus grumbled.

James' lips lifted into a faint smile. "So, are you saying what I think you are?"

Cyrus shook his head wearily and reluctantly broke away from James' embrace. "You're the reporter, you figure out all the details."

James' face lit up like a child's on the first visit to Disney World. "You're going to be a great dad."

Cyrus picked up his cup of tea and took a sip before answering, "Yeah, yeah."

"You aren't your father, Cy. You will never be your father," James whispered.

Cyrus closed his eyes, willing the sharp stinging pain that seized him at the mention of his father to stop. He swallowed through the hurt and James grabbed Cyrus' free hand and gave it a comforting squeeze.

When he finally trusted his voice not to crack, Cyrus said, "Poor kid doesn't know what they're getting into."


End file.
